


Obliviscor

by Enk



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Past head injury, Slice of Life, Victor Nikiforov is Extra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 21:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12329187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enk/pseuds/Enk
Summary: Victor forgets things too often for it to be something Yuuri can just overlook.





	Obliviscor

Victor forgets things. He forgets things a lot. Victor forgets a lot of things and Yuuri notices. It isn't frequent, but frequent enough to take note. He forgot that he had promised Yuri a senior debut and coaching. He forgot that he would coach whomever won the Onsen on Ice competition. At first, Yuuri had thought Victor too vapid, too self-absorbed. And perhaps briefly even thought that he had never meant the promises in the first place and merely tried to appease the angry teenager. However, he did forget that Yuuri had told him he had never been in a relationship with anyone, twice. Then, he had forgotten the promise of taking Yuuri to a beach for the day. Then it had been whether or not he had fed Makkachin who had gotten dinner three times that day because 'better safe than sorry!’ There had been too many instances for it to be merely a coincidence or simply self-absorption. And if Victor and Yuuri hadn't grown extremely close over the course of the summer, Yuuri probably would have never noticed. Victor carries himself with such poise, such grace and confidence that when he forgot things, others would blame themselves for it rather than blaming him.

 

The other thing that tips Yuuri off is that no one close to Victor gets angry at him. Sure, Yuri had been angry, but Yuri is always angry and his rage had never been truly directed at Victor. When Victor forgets his best friend's birthday, and Christophe merely smiles and tells Victor he can make it up to him another time, that's what really makes Yuuri think. Only to be swept up in training and everything else and it slips his mind because Victor makes him do quads until, well Victor almost passes out. Skating with an extra five kilos for months in Detroit made a difference in the end. Yuuri is swept up in training and winning and almost losing his spot at the Grand Prix Final and exchanging rings with Victor and breaking a world record that Victor's memory doesn't come into play until the banquet when Victor stares blankly when meets Christophe's boyfriend.

 

"I didn't know he's seeing anyone." He smiles at Yuuri and Yuuri raises an eyebrow. Not only had Christophe told him, but they had skyped all night talking about the guy's cute ass and amazing spins.

 

"Yeah, looks pretty serious, too." Yuuri smiles and takes a sip of his champagne. Tonight, his limit is three drinks. Chris may be seeing someone, but who knows whether or not that guy still had a collapsible pole in his hotel room. So embarrassing! But that isn’t the point. And when Victor is pre-occupied charming one of his sponsors into shooting a commercial in Hasetsu, Yuuri excuses himself and finds Chris.

 

“You know, this banquet could use you having a lot more champagne.” Chris smiles with a wink. Judging by the look on his mystery boyfriend's face, he also knows and definitely has seen the pictures. Yuuri feels it’s appropriate to blush somewhere between a dusty pink rose and a not-quite-ripe tomato.

 

“Can I-,” he glances at Chris’s boyfriend, “sorry, I just, can we talk somewhere?” He takes a breath. This entire evening, he has felt calm and safe and not just because Victor barely left his side. He has changed. He feels more confident, more at home with everything. It's why he feels able to ask Chris about Victor.

 

“Everything okay?” But Chris does excuse them and leads Yuuri into a corner of the ballroom away from everyone else. “Want me to strip so you can sneak off without anyone noticing?”

 

“I- what? No.” Yuuri shakes his head and isn’t sure whether to smile or frown. “But uh, thank you for offering, I think. I want to talk to you about Victor.”

 

“Did he fuck up? He’s my best friend but I will beat him with my flower bouquets if he fucked up. After everything he did to find you-“

 

“He forgets things. And not like other people. And I think you and Yurio and Yakov and Mila, you all know that. And you all know he won’t tell me unless I already know.”

 

Chris doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes Yuuri by the hand and leads him out onto the terrace.

 

 

***

 

Victor forgets things, he forgets things a lot. He knows that and everyone on his team knows it too, even Yuri. So does Chris and until Victor met Yuuri, those were all the people who needed to know. But then he met Yuuri. At first, he knows Yuuri chalked it up to Victor being more self-absorbed and likely more vapid than the man had imagined his idol to be. Not that Victor blames him, at least not at the time. He had been too vapid and too self-absorbed. However he is different now, but still prefers not to talk about what happened. Because he’s terrified. . Yuuri, beautiful and perfect Yuuri who has grown so much. And with all that growth, Victor can see the questions adding up. All this time he could see Yuuri stop himself from making comments, because Yuuri knew he wasn’t ready. He still isn’t.

 

Now here they are, walking hand in hand at the beach in Hasetsu, Makkachin running ahead of them. Makkachin who is alive. Yuuri who made it to the Grand Prix final, won silver, and was now back home to celebrate his win, and pack up his life to move to Sankt Petersburg. Yuuri who wears his ring and is about to ask Victor what he will never be ready to tell.

 

It had been his own fault, forgetting to pack Yuuri’s medal when they rushed out of the hotel in the morning after the banquet. Yuuri had been so exhausted, Victor had told him he would pack their things so Yuuri could sleep in and then whisked him away to breakfast, the medal forgotten on the desk. Even when Yuuri mentioned it when they arrived a couple of day ago, Victor had merely stared at him blankly. The look of hurt on Yuuri’s face was worse than the tears that had fallen when Victor had pushed an exhausted, anxious Yuuri to his limits. This was worse because Yuuri walked away and didn’t return until the evening telling Victor that his medal would arrive from the hotel in a couple of days. Victor hadn’t gotten the chance to fix things. And now they are here, walking along the beach and Yuuri is about to-

 

“Will you tell me?” Yuuri squeezes Victor’s hand, but when Victor looks at him, it is clear that Yuuri already knows. This is merely a confirmation.

 

“You spoke to Yakov.” The words come out accusatory. He doesn’t mean them to, but here he is walking by the sea and he feels as though he is about to be dragged out into the open ocean.

 

“No,” Yuuri shakes his head, “I’m not oblivious and Chris confirmed my suspicions.”

 

“Chris,” Victor feels the colour drain from his face. He feels betrayed, betrayed by his best friend. He’s dragged out into the ocean and he wants to be anywhere but here. But Yuuri’s hand tightens around his, steadies him, pulls him close. “-then why do you ask me if you already know?” Victor hates that his voice betrays him, but still Yuuri is there. Yuuri who presses his forehead against Victor’s and wraps his arms around him.

 

“Because I want you to feel as safe with me as I do with you.” When Yuuri pulls back and looks at him, his eyes are so kind and full of love that it takes Victor’s breath.

 

“You are so beautiful.” He manages, fighting the prick of tears in the corners of his eyes.

 

“And you, Victor, are stalling.” That raised eyebrow, that look. When Victor had set out to unleash Yuuri’s forgotten Eros, he truly had no idea of what he had gotten himself into. How stubborn and commanding Yuuri can now be, and with ease when he doesn’t doubt himself, when he channels his own strength to defeat the nagging thoughts that tell him he isn’t good enough. “Really stalling.” Yuuri squeezes Victor’s hand, less gentle now.

 

“Okay,” Victor says and sits down slowly, in the sand, pulling Yuuri down with him.

 

Fact is, skaters fall a lot and unlike nowadays, children did not wear helmets while they learned to skate when Victor did. There were no safety harnesses for jumps as no one had been concerned with head injuries or injuries in general. Most of the time, it was assumed that children had a certain bounce to them which would allow them to heal quickly without any lasting repercussions. Victor remembers the first time he hit his head on the ice when he was six. He doesn’t remember the pain, only the panic he had felt when his vision blurred red as blood streamed from his face. He remembers looking at Yakov, crying and apologizing for ruining the training session and that he would do better the next day. Six stitches and tomorrow tuning into a week later, he had been back on the ice. Yuuri squeezes his hand and leans his head on Victor’s shoulder, tells him he’s doing great. Victor has to look at the sky for a few moments before he can continue.

 

The second time, he doesn’t remember falling. He doesn’t even remember making it to the rink that day. He does remember waking up in a hospital bed in a room stuffed full of flowers and stuffed animals. He had been unconscious for 36 hours. The month after waking up is vague in his memory and feels more like a dream than reality. He knows there are memories, but they never seem to form into something tangible. Thankfully, he had been able to take the summer to recover and work on new routines. He sighs and wraps his arm around Yuuri, who whispers his love to him. It’s what gives Victor the courage to continue.

 

At first, forgetting things, Victor chalked up to being busy, not actually caring about them, and truly anything other than there being something physically wrong with him. It never impacted- still doesn’t- his skating, so in truth, he didn’t care all that much at the time. He skips what had happened to make Yakov drag him to the doctor. He doesn’t talk about the never-ending tests, the terrifying uncertainty, and the realization that he might never skate again. He can’t, it’s too much right now.

 

“I remember sitting in a room with doctors and Yakov, and after they told me that my memory problems would continue and possibly worsen with age, I just beamed at Yakov and said: well, I better not fall on my head again.”

 

“You said that after a diagnosis of potentially permanent brain injury?” Yuuri pulls away to look at Victor.

 

“I haven’t fallen since, have I?” Victor says and for a moment Yuuri’s face is falls as he tries to decide if Victor is asking or emphasising fact.

 

“No you haven’t,” Yuuri finally replies with an exasperated sigh. Victor is pretty sure he can hear Yuuri mutter ‘you are so extra’ under his breath before he continues. “I still can’t believe you said that to Yakov. What did he say to that?”

 

“He cut me from the Olympic team and told everyone I injured my ankle.”

 

“Victor,” Yuuri pushes his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose as he sits up straight. Victor knows he is going to say something he can’t bear to hear right now.

 

“I love you, too.” Victor smiles before Yuuri can say it and pulls him back into an embrace. “I hate talking about it, but I want you to know that I feel as safe with you as you feel with me.”

 

“Thank you for telling me.” With a smile, Yuuri kisses him. They sit in silence for a long time until the winter chill in the air creeps beneath their jackets. When Yuuri suppresses a shiver, Victor stands, pulling him up and kisses his chilled hands, gently blowing air on them.

 

“Let’s go back inside.” Victor says and Yuuri nods in response and leans his head against Victor’s shoulder as they walk back to the road. He pulls out his phone as they walk. Victor looks at him with a raised eyebrow when his own phone chimes in his pocket and pulls it out. It is a request to link calendars. Victor smiles and presses his thumb on ‘accept’ before he slides his phone back into his pocket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my hard drive for months, forgotten (which seems appropriate considering its content) and I finally got around to posting it. As someone with repeated brain injury, several instances of Post-concussion Syndrome, and (albeit unrelated) memory problems, seeing Victor forget things so often and no one get mad... well this is what came from it.


End file.
